CHORUS

It's the Atrax Christenseni, family Atracidae

But if you really wanna go roadtripin'

Then baby I'm on my way

They've got the Big Banana, the Big Merino

The Big Pineapple, the Big Mosquito

The Big Wine Bottle and the Big Beer can

The Big Deck Chair, but don't you understand

If you've seen ours once you've seen enough

It's the (clap) Newcastly Big Boy

In the dark, dark days of 2025
As history’s being made
To a place called Mulubinba
Rode a Coastie bloke known as Kane
Now Newy don’t have much to offer
Except maybe a drunken prayer
But if you’re a local, you’re sure to be vocal
That it’s coal and steel and Silverchair
But Kane was searching after summer rain
For arachnids to employ
He was looking in the scrub but it was back at the pub
He found the (clap) Newcastle Big Boy

CHORUS

The lads are ten c-m across
Sure they can kill you dead
Though he’s got the same figure
He’s a mite bit bigger than the Sydney Funnel Web
You could say that heavy industry
Makes our spider big and strong, but
They split 17 million years ago
Before us colonisers came along
We’ve wrecked the joint like a riot at the Star Hotel
Old Country we’ve destroyed, so
When digging Hunter coal, avoid the hole
Of the (clap) Newcastle Big Boy

CHORUS

But since we’re so damn clever
We solved his trouble for one and all
We milk him dry, then say goodbye
And give him heaven in ethanol
He hasn’t claimed a victim since ’81
Wish we could say the same
Cause there’s no antivenin for fuckwit
Or a pig’s entitled rage
Cops are off protecting profits
A fragile peace most can’t enjoy
But at least my dear, we no longer fear
The (clap) Newcastle Big Boy

CHORUS

Do you think he knows what’s coming?
Do you think he has a clue?
When the summer flood spits Hunter mud
Do you think he’ll be mourning you?
He’s my sweet prince of crawling around
Pub to pub and bush to town
I’ll follow him ‘ere before I hang
From those dusty black mountains of Kooragang
Now who knows what the future holds
Or if those nuclear codes deploy
But here’s to 17 million good more years
For the (clap) Newcastle Big Boy

CHORUS x 2