I Never Learned to Mask
Written by Dan Barron-Hyland
A neurodivergent parody of an original song "I never learned to drive".
LYRICS
CHORUS
I never learnt to mask, boys
But you know when I do.
I’ll go on out in public
And make you think I’m just like you.
I’d be a great example
Of the neurotypic class
But I never learned to mask, boys
I never learned to mask.
Oh I wish I had those vaccines from 1995
the ones that give you autism and keep your kids alive
I’d give myself a second dose to make it cancel out
but I never learned to mask boys I never learned to mask
CHORUS
And I’ve got a special interest, something that is mine
If you ask me about union songs, then I will opine
But after a couple hours, I may have crossed a line
Cause I never learned to mask boys I never learned to maskk
CHORUS
And when my special interest does sing it’s siren call
To talk on it for hours is the fate that now befalls
If you want to change the subject that’s far too big an ask
Cause I never learned to mask boys I never learned to mask
CHORUS
Now the new South Wales government they say I cannot drive
If I don’t pay a thousand bucks my licence they’ll deprive
It’s a fucking bullshit system so I’ll tell them to fuck off
Cause I never learned to mask boys I never learned to mask
CHORUS
If you give me instructions and present me with a task
Better make sure that they’re detailed cause no questions will I ask
I’ll do exactly what you tell me for better or for worse
Cause I never learned to mask boys I never learned to mask
CHORUS
I’m told I can be rather rude my manners aren’t the best
If you ask me my opinions it puts me to the test
I only answered honestly so I don’t get all the fuss
Cause I never learned to mask boys I never learned to mask
CHORUS
So come and gather round me I’ll tell it to you true
If you like this song a bit too much well I have news for you
It’s an official diagnosis so come and raise a glass
Cause I never learned to mask boys I never learned to mask
CHORUS x 2
